Salacious curiosity aside, here are a couple of
outre' news stories that happened to collide yesterday in the Blogman's idiocyberspace having everything, or nothing-at-all to do with life
vs. art, and the education of children.
I'll get to the Colorado story in a minute. First, pictured here is a small segment of an expansive graffiti-style mural adorning one outdoor wall of the Erotic Heritage Museum in Las Vegas. The "pasties" affixed to the nipple-age are not part of the artists' (incl. a couple of women) original design. Some upright (sorry) citizen must have called the cops, because sometime after the mural's inaugural "unveiling" adhesive pastie facsimiles were now seen covering the naughty bits. Turns out, right there in Sin City, there's a
county sign-code that prohibits the "showing of the aureola of female breasts" (full report
here), believe it or not. Too titillating, I guess. The county claims that the wall-mural is
signage, advertising a strip-club which just happens to be next door. In rebuttal, a clever but politically-incorrect lawyer on the museum's behalf might--if the thing went judicial-- have directed the court's eyes to the figure on the left. (If these were live models, Clark County must also be a strict enforcer of EOE laws.)
Now here is the
AP report of life-imitating-art in Boulder. Colo.--
A nudist in Boulder who was threatened with eviction last spring for gardening outside wearing only PASTIES and a THONG has caused another stir by gardening topless. At least four callers told police 52-year-old Catherine Pierce was in her yard topless on Wednesday. STATE law prohibits exposed genitals, but Pierce was wearing a thong and gardening gloves.
Police spokeswoman Sarah Huntley said an officer told Pierce to consider wearing a shirt because CHILDREN at the SCHOOL ACROSS THE STREET were playing outside.
Pierce's husband then complained to police. Huntley said a police supervisor agreed with Pierce wasn't breaking any laws.
Boulder is considering expanding its anti-nudity law. (3/18)
Note the fine distinction between pastie-bleeped nipples and "topless." No photos except after the fact, where ironically she's not only fully-clothed, but poses with mouth taped-over in protest of her free-speech = nudity being violated. (See full local reportage
here.) However, only in their dreams could the prepubescent schoolboys across the street imagine such a randy sight: an obviously trim and handsome middle-aged mother-figure wearing only a yellow thong and pink (yes) gardening gloves (no coordinating color mentioned for the pasties). Otherwise, "sky-clad," as the new-age pagans might say. Youthful fantasies abundantly fulfilled.
And indeed there is some "signage"--some advertising going on here. Not for a strip-club, but for free-speech rights, and the LIBERTY to express one's way of life. "We're a naturalist family," says Mr. Pierce, "and we'll stay the way we are." Much to the relief of the young males on the playground across the street, I'm sure.
I'm also sure that there's some jealousy and fear involved too, resulting in a real test of parenting skills. For the most part, it's a flunk. Listen to Mary Ernest from across the street, who's not worried about her 5-year-old daughter seeing the naked lady--"That doesn't bother me"--but "If I had a SON, it might be a different situation," she said earnestly. How so? Well, a son or two might ask Mom some pointed questions that extend beyond simple nudity. Thus:
Lisa Sanchez who lives next door to to the Pierces, said she has mixed feelings about seeing the couple in public. "For me, I don't care," she said. But she is concerned that her two boys, 7 and 5, have ASKED her about the topless neighbor. "They say, 'Ma, that lady's crazy,'" she said. (Boulder Daily Camera 3/18)
Or did SHE explain it away that way? Okay, enough salivation over these two delicious stories of heartland-America's moral conundrums and insecurities. In fact, I've drooled over them so much as to cause "dry-mouth"--in medicalese:
xerostomia = Gk.
xero-, "dry" as in your office copier +
stoma, "mouth" as extended to lower down the alimentary canal. Also called "cotton-mouth," and in many parts of the country: "the pasties."
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On the occasion last week while on a walk after all the Feb/March snow had melted except for a few little self-insulating piles pushed off the sidewalk and observing the following which can only be described as some sort of divinely miraculous advent or at least darwinianly mysterious e-vent because it was at least a vacant square mile from any domesticated beds and these spring-harbinger perennials of the genus Narcissus and whose name is a playful corruption of the original pastoral nymph Asphodel need prior im-bulbing of some kind preferably underground by a few inches or so by someone or other of the non-plant kingdom to accomplish this and no sign of hominid habitation in evidence so that I'll entitle it simply "Daffy"--
