#15 Sex, Drugs, and Rock 'n' Roll II--the Stone-d Age

Sorry, no "hard"evidence of drug use among the cave-people since last post, but I couldn't resist. However, the Cro-Magnon artisan who sculpted the little statue at right just had to have been "on" some potent substance or another for him to create such wonderful grotesquery out of the living rock (fossilized mammoth ivory, actually).

(Historical note: it's a widely held belief among crypto-paleo-anthropologists, of which I am one, that the first psychotropic drug was, in fact, a rock. Many of these of various sizes have indeed been discovered in and around prehistoric cave-dwellings. A carefully-directed blow to one's temple with such a "stone"--hence our modern term--would produce surreal images and spectacular light-shows of a truly psychedelic nature ... for the short term. Overdose seems to have been a problem, however. Some skulls have been uncovered where blunt-force trauma indicates just such an unfortunate accident. The "high" achieved would of course be accompanied by a rush of sheer physical pleasure and overall well-being, once the head-pain had ceased. Some contend--though I don't believe there's quite enough evidence--that this is the origin of the phrase "rock 'n' roll." The self-administrator takes his "hit" with the "rock"--a smooth one, preferably [perhaps from a creek-bed or nearby glacial deposit], in order to avoid unsightly blood-letting--and "rolls" upon the ground in unconscious ecstasy.)

Whether on drugs or not, the carver had no doubt that his little lady would bestow the proper kind of "high" on its owner. An "upper," if you will. For she is the "Venus of Hohle Fels," discovered only a yardstick away from that magic flute of my earlier post. She's the oldest of these figurines, dating from c. 35-40,000 years ago, but they all look the same. Wildly exaggerated vulva, breasts, belly, and hips--a stylized vision of fornication and fecundity, if not the goddess thereof. All of this I find unbelievably modern, in its own way.

It can't stand alone--deliberately no feet--and in place of the head you'll notice a carefully carved ring. IT WAS PORTABLE. Pendant-wise. Our male ancestor could not only celebrate a night in the home grotto with her and her real-life counterparts--accompanied by music, dance, and firelit cave-etchings--but also take her hanging around his neck to the office next morning. An ancient version of laptop porn. Le plus ca change ...

By way of ironic illustration, please marvel at the incredible naivete' of Cambridge archaeologist Paul Mellars, who comments on the figurine (May 2009 Discovery)--

It's at least as old as the world's oldest cave art ... can't avoid being struck by its very sexually explicit depiction of a woman. The breasts really jump out at you. I assume it was a guy who carved it, perhaps representing his girlfriend ... We just don't know how it was used at this point, but the object's size means that it fit well in someone's hand.

The only real question is: left or right?
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